History Unveils Pilgrims, Indians Argued About Politics Over First Thanksgiving Dinner

Smithsonian historians have confirmed that the group of pilgrims and Indians who gathered for the first Thanksgiving argued vehemently about politics throughout the course of the meal.

The newly discovered journal seems to indicate that just after giving thanks for the meal, one Pilgrim from England drank too much mead and began to rant about “making the colonies great again,” kicking off several hours of hostile glances, passive-aggressive remarks, and flat-out argumentation.

“Apparently, Uncle Charles was asked to eat at the kids’ table after a tirade about how real patriots need to support King James I, and several Wampanoag Indians and younger Puritans alike wouldn’t stop talking about their participation in a string of violent protests throughout the colonies,” Dr. Gary Etherton, a Smithsonian researcher said. “They called themselves ‘the Resistance’ for some reason.”

Arguments centered around “common sense musket control” raged as one Pilgrim mother complained about the large quantity of wheellock muskets left lying around without observing proper gun safety rules, while at the other end of the table, a fistfight broke out over a Ten Commandment display in front of the Plymouth General Court.

At time of publishing, historians had also confirmed that the bickering over politics ceased briefly for a pick-up American football game on an adjacent lawn.

Thanksgiving is a public holiday, originating as the harvest festival.

It is now celebrated every year and, along with Christmas and New Year, is part of the broader “holiday season”.

The story of Thanksgiving goes back to 1620 when Pilgrims landed on American soil and settled in an area they named Plymouth just south of where Boston is today. Unfortunately for those who’d immigrated, they settled in the beginning of what turned out to be a harsh winter, rations were tight and times were hard.

 Each year, a turkey is pardoned by the President to mark the occasion
When spring came the Pilgrims went out to plant and grow their own crops and were helped by a native American named Squanto.

Squanto taught them how to fish and hunt as well as showing them how to plant corn, pumpkins and squash.

With these new found skills they were able to store up enough food to be sure that they would be equipped to face the harsh winter months.

The grateful pilgrims invited the Native Americans to join them for a huge harvest feast which has since become known as Thanksgiving.

The tradition has continued for hundreds of years since and is celebrated with a lots of delicious food and wine.

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